I am about to seriously hurt my siblings. They are driving me crazy. Selena searched our bookshelves and found a harmonica. Oh my goodness! That thing is so annoying and if you tell her to stop; she’ll stop for a few minutes and then start back up. My step-dad has the flu and my mom is lying down since we were gone all day shopping so Beth and I are in charge of the hellions. Lucky us, huh? This makes me realize how much I need a vacation. I seriously don’t care where so I found myself looking up everything from Las Vegas hotel reservations to Gatlinburg chalets. Kateness needs to go on a nice week vacation away from kids and chaos!

I seriously must have been knocked on the head today. I don’t know what is up but things I used to really think were not my style or type, I’m beginning to like. I had to take my step-dad to go get a pair of work boots and while I was there, I decided to look around. I saw a pair of sexy boots. Not really sexy sexy but they were hot. I’m sure they are not your type of hot but they were definitely pretty. I need another pair of boots since the pair I have now are pink camo on the top and then brown on bottom as in the part you can see when you wear them with jeans. They are hot and totally my style though. Maybe my style is changing?

You know what I really think is sexy? Corsets. I usually do not think anything along the lines of lingerie since I have body image issues but today when we were at the mall getting the last items on our list for my friend, I stopped in my favorite store and they had a corset in my size. I tried it on and fell in love. I know I’d probably never wear it but still, I felt hot. Lol. Over the past few weeks, I’m slowly regaining my self confidence and I’m really proud of myself. Plus, my crunches every night are really starting to show progress. Go Kate. Sexy Kate is making a comeback, watch out! Besides, who says just cause you aren’t skinny doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy!?

Is it just me or has the first half of December just flew by in a blur? I have been so busy getting everything together for Christmas, dealing with family issues, and settling stuff about next semester for school. I haven’t even mailed my Christmas cards because of this which makes me feel horrible! So if you are supposed to get a card from me, I swear I’m sending them tomorrow and please don’t hate me! I’m going through so much crap right now, crap that I don’t even want to go there on right now. I just need … a break. A break from drama and a break from bullshit.

That’s all I really have to say on that matter. I think Christmas is just a really depressing time for me because it reminds me of my grandma. I loved my grandma so much and I miss her each and every day but more so around Christmas. Tomorrow is the death anniversary of my uncle so my aunt and my mom are going to put flowers on his grave along with my grandma’s and grandpa’s. I don’t know if I can go see their graves. It still hurts too much. I try so hard to be happy for her because I know she’d want me to celebrate Christmas no matter what and be happy but it’s so hard doing all the traditional things we used to do together without her being here. I miss you, grandma.

With that said, I’m headed out. I’m dead tired. Today was filled with getting my hair dyed and cut along with trudging through the mall for Christmas gifts and then to Toys R Us as well. So yes, my feet hurt, my whole body hurts, and I’m dead tired. So later gator!